1. Hey, baby, what's your sign? Do you think it fits you pretty well? I am a Scorpio through and through and I think it it is a very true fit.
2. What's the worst birthday gift you've ever received? I can't really recall any bad birthday gifts off the top of my head, but, probably the worst birthday I had was my 21st. I was in Tech School, away from home and friends, and due to processing I had to wait 5 days after my birthday to have my first legal alcoholic beverage. So, not only was I lonely, I couldn't even drown my sorrows.
3. What's the best birthday gift you've ever received? My diamond heart necklace that I got for my 30th birthday.
4. What's the best way you've celebrated your birthday thus far? For my 30th birthday, I actually had a big birthday party thrown for me - room rented, loads of food, and lots of great friends and loved ones all for ME!!
5. What are your plans for this weekend? Not a damn thing. I still haven't recovered completely from last weekend.
Oh, a little of this, and some of that, with a bit of that, where I saw this. I also saw some of this, walked through there, and did a little of this, where I met them.
But, other than that, I really didn't do much of anything. Damn. I am tired.
If you are calling me on a speakerphone, and you are the only one in your office who is a part of this conversation, thereby not having any reason to have me on speakerphone, it doesn't make you sound important at all. It really just screams, hey, listen to me, I am the only employee of this company and I am sitting in my office all by myself, trying to sound important, but only sounding like a complete and utter ass.
It's that kind of arrogant shit that makes me completely annoyed and makes me implement the "dumbass fee".
This is so funny that this guys mobile phone company charged him $377 for being an arrogant bastard. Around my office we just call it a "dumbass fee".
Exactly 5 years ago, Nathan Lowell Wade was born, weighing 6lbs, 3oz and measuring 21" long. He surprised us by being 3 1/2weeks early, and, not ever having had a child before, I hadn't realized I was in labor until my water broke at 2:45am that Monday in 1997.
It was like a bad movie. I was in the bathroom yelling for Beau, who was up working on his computer with the door closed and couldn't hear me. Finally, the beating on the wall got through to him and he came out wondering what was going on, not expecting it to be what it was, since that wasn't supposed to happen for another 3 weeks. But it was. And I wasn't ready to go to the hospital.
We had just finished lamaze classes not even two weeks prior and I had been told, "Pack your bag for the hospital now, since you never know what might happen." Well, of course I ignored her since I was (okay, still am) late for everything, why should this be any different? But it was.
So there I am, sitting in the bathroom, calling the hospital and all pertinent family members telling them that my water had broken and that I was going to be going to the hospital, and the realization is sinking in to Beau what is about to happen and he starts to go into overdrive. He starts to help pack me a bag to go to the hospital and every 20 seconds or so would pop by the bathroom holding something up and say "This?" and me being almost in a state of shock said yes to far, far too many things and we ended up with a big backpack full of stuff that didn't get used. (The one thing that did get used was a cd of soothing nature sounds that for some reason was put on repeat and played for the ENTIRE time of labor and delivery - needless to say, that one never got played again.)
As we were leaving, Beau heads out the door first with the bag, and then almost straight out of She's Having a Baby, goes right on down to the car, while I am still on the porch. I remember calling out something like "That's okay, I'll meet you there", but I knew he wasn't really leaving me, he was just putting the stuff in the car to come back and get me - I was just being a smartass - which wouldn't be the only time that day.
So, it's like 3:30 in the morning now and Beau was doing like 80 down city streets to get to the hospital. When we do get there, we pull up in front of the doors to the new Labor and Delivery area that had just been christened 10 days prior. Unfortunately, just because it had been christened, didn't mean that they had opened that entrance yet. Which they hadn't. So, we left the car in that driveway and walked over to the main entrance.
There was no one at the information desk and no wheelchairs around so we walked down the long (at this point it could have been like 20 feet long, but it looked about a half a mile to me) corridor to the birthing center, where, inside, all of the nurses start rushing around to get me off my feet as soon as they see me, since they realize, like I do, that this thing inside me could just fall out at any time and to get me horizontal asap. (Okay, not really about the whole falling out thing.) Anyway, after checking me out and verifying that, yes, my water really had broken and I hadn't just been peeing for the last hour and 15 minutes straight, they admitted me and Beau went to properly park the car.
Three hours later, and 7 painful tries at getting an iv started, a really cool Dr. said that since I was at a 3 I could have an epidural then if I wanted one. I said, "bring it on" or something to that effect. Twenty minutes later when the anesthesiologist came in, they checked me again and said I was at an 8. The anesthesiologist said that I was at a time where I could go ahead and finish with out the drugs, probably within the next hour or so, or she could medicate me and it would take longer. I, of course, chose the drugs. And she was right, it did take longer. About 8 hours longer, during which time, I couldn't stand to hear anyone else's voice except this one nurse, who, when her shift was over, was g-o-n-e, buh-bye, conducted business with my company via telephone, became really attached to a polka dot that was covered up by someone being helpful when the anesthesiologist was sticking a rather large needle into the covering around my spinal cord in between contractions, and had the epidural wear off. Yep, that's right, wore off. Near the end. When I needed it. Yeah.
So they gave me a booster shot that did nothing. And then gave me the mega-booster shot that made me feel dead from the belly-button on down. And I mean, could not feel anything. Like ran my car into a wall and was paralyzed kinda dead. The nurses had to lift my legs themselves into the stir-rups, because I simply could not move them. Which turned out to be not so bad for me after all. Remember, I am trying to get something the size of a watermelon out here.
It gets kinda crazy near the end. I am pushing and breathing so hard that I start to hyperventilate and they have to put me on oxygen. There are a bunch of people in the room because this is a teaching hospital, also. We are down to the last final pushes. And the Doctor who is delivering Natey says, "Man, it sure it hot in here". To which, being the smartass that I am, I pull down the oxygen mask, look at him and say, "Waaaa". I really didn't care how he felt right then, since this was his job and he only had to be in the room for like 10 minutes to do it, so yeah, no sympathy from me on that one.
Anyway, Nathan was born almost immediately after that, Beau cut the cord, and they placed him on my chest. It was amazing. Just that fast, we went from two to three. A couple to parents. And I simply can't believe it has been 5 years already. In some ways it seems like yesterday, and some ways it seems like a lifetime ago - and technically it has been a lifetime for Natey. A lot has changed since that day, but on that one day, everything was good and beautiful.
Damn, that took so long, I feel like it should be time for Natey's 6th birthday already, don't you?
Have you ever had braces? Any other teeth trauma? I never had braces, even though I needed them. For some reason my mom actually listened to me as a 11yo when I said, "Nah, I don't want'em." And as for other teeth trauma, I chipped a tooth once when I was using a torque wrench on the wing of a F-16 and it slipped off the nut and smacked me in the mouth.
Ever broken any bones? I fractured my thumb when I was in a car accident and the airbag blew and popped my thumb.
Ever had stitches? Twice. Once when I was 13 and I pulled the towel rack out of the shower wall and it cut my leg and the second time was when I had Natey.
What are the stories behind some of your [physical] scars? I have a scar on my knee from where a guy popped a wheelie on a dirt bike right in front of me and hit me on the way down. And I have a scar on my wrist from the first time I used a soldering iron in Tech School.
How do you plan to spend your weekend? Taking Nathan to see "Bear in the Big Blue House" on stage Saturday morning and then watching him and two of his cousins overnight Saturday night. And on Sunday night, I will probably watch some commercials for a few hours while ignoring some football game in NOLA between two teams I can't name right now.