I have found the man that I am going to run off to Kazahstan and live in a tent and milk goats for if he asks.* Seriously. All I ask is that he give me massages like the one he just gave me.
His name is Jeff and he works at the Eden Salon and he has magic fingers.
I am soooo relaxed now that I think I will go back to bed and spend this wonderful day off sleeping before we go out and act like stupid hoochies for someone's birthday and dance the night away.
*all things said in euphoria are not admissible in court and will be denied to the fullest extent.
I do not get this. Why do stars check into the damn hospital from "exhaustion"? I mean, why can't they just take a few days off and hide at home in bed for a few days like any normal person would do with "extreme exhaustion" - or when we would get shitfaced we would just call it "hungover". Still, same remedy, hit the bed and hibernate for a bit and get over it.
Unless she was in there to get her blood changed, ala Lizzie Grubman (which just seems absurd and gross to me), then I can see having to go to the hospital for that one.
I had promised myself that if I lasted a year without the nectar of the gods, CokeŽ, then I could have some of the caffeine-free version of it. Well, I had some, and it was just as I expected (feared) - it tasted like shit. Not because it was caffeine-free, but because it was a syrupy, carbonated drink. That sucks.
Hell, even my kid knew I wouldn't like it. When I took it out of the fridge, he tried to hand me a bottle of water, saying, "Momma, you don't like that, drink this." And after I spit it out, he said, like the smart-ass kid that I deserve to have, "See, I told you, you didn't like it" and then handed me the bottle of water he tried to give me not 3 minutes before, with a final "Drink this all day, it makes you feel better." And he was right.
Well, it has been a year today that I last had a CokeŽ. That was also the day that I started my diet that, as of today, has left me weighing more than 40lbs less than I did a year ago. And after weighing my 4yo son this morning, realizing that I had lost more weight in the past year than he weighs today. Scary. I mean, he is a bitch to carry around the mall when he is tired and cranky and I used to carry that around with me, all day, every day. So it is all good. Except for the CokeŽ thing.
That used to be all that I drank, completely, except for the occasional glass of Braum's milk. Beau and I were so devoted to what we drank (he is a die-hard Diet CokeŽ drinker and I was a Coke drinker) that Natey knew that the "red cans" were for momma and the "silver cans" were for daddy. But when the Doctor told me that caffeine stimulates the appetite, I knew it had to go. Sooooo.....after the first 4 days of headaches from the caffeine withdrawal, it wasn't so bad. Except for the water thing. And the peeing thing.
But, overall, it is a great thing to be able to shop just about anywhere I want, even though I still hate to do it, and to be able to run around and play with Natey alot more, and even to just "be" is a good thing now. I'm not done, but I am not pushing myself to get there - if/when I do, then that will be good too.
:::patting own back:::
:::visual image:::
sitting on my patio (in my furniture my friends busted their ass helping me put together) with my laptop, grilling some dinner on my bad-ass Weber grill and watching my son play in an unexpected summer shower on a record-tying (107 degrees) day
:::exhaling:::
