Dear Client,
There is a reason that I have information sheets that I give out to open each account - it tells you what the fuck I need to be able to open the account. It is not a suggestion list - it is a fucking numbered list of items in black and white that must be followed, or else I cannot open your account - simple as that. Don't call me fucking whining that it is taking to long for something to get done on my end because you forgot to do something on your side that I cannot legally do and was in the instructions in the first fucking place.
Then, after your account is open, there is a reason that I send out renewal notices for your account 45 days before it is due - it tells you when your fucking renewal is due and what I need to renew it. Again, not a suggestion list, but a specific list of what I need and what the penalties will be if you do not follow it. The date notification is also on the credentials that I send you when the account was opened, which makes my renewal notice a courtesy, not a requirement.
In fact, there is even a 60 day grace period after the expiration so that there is time to process your renewal, correct any errors, and get you the new credentials before the enforcement date - which is approximately 4 and a half months after I told you it was time to renew in the first fucking place. So, don't fucking call me telling me you didn't know when they expired, get pissed off when you have to pay a late filing penalty, you can't have it the same day or get a temp to keep running, or even when there is an error in your billing that takes time to get corrected, thereby delaying your running again longer. Do not expect things that can take up to 60 days to be done the next day, and do not expect me to grovel, apologize profusely, and beg your forgiveness because the correction hasn't been processed yet. I have submitted the correction to be processed and am waiting for it - just like you.
If you could please explain to me what benefits I recieve by not calling you or sending you your credentials as soon as I have them, I would greatly appreciate it, because your incessant whining is making me wish I didn't have you as a client in the first place. With that, I leave you with the motto of my office:
An emergency on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
Paula