It's really simple - just don't call them to let them know where the end of season team pizza party is and then lie about it when asked why you didn't.
Nathan's dim-witted soccer coach did just that last night.
After his last game on Saturday, she said she would call everyone to let them know where she would arrange for it to be, "prolly some place with a buffet". Well, Tuesday rolls around without a call, so I ask the coach's son, who goes to Natey's daycare, where the party was going to be held. He tells me Cici's, which makes sense, and we go on home.
So I take Natey to where I think the party is going to be - noone there. I then take him to 3 other places that it might have been, call the coach's house twice, call everyone on the soccer list - which of course, noone is home, since they are at the party - with Natey's spirits sinking with each parking lot, but he is so sweet he just tries to make the best of it. (He ended up having a great evening with his daddy - but still....).
So, I get home and she has left me a message on the machine saying that she is really sorry we missed the party, but she had left a message for us Sunday night. Welp, only 3 things wrong with that - I was home Sunday night - no phone call, there wasn't a message on my machine, and her number wasn't on my caller ID. Yep - not gonna work.
So I call her back, all friendly-like - (not fucking likely) - and explain all of these things to her and she is all "I'm so sorry" and seemed a bit surprised when I wasn't all "That's okay" and instead was "Fine" before I hung up - well, apologizing doesn't fucking make up for it, you fuckwit, my kid still got his feelings hurt and didn't get to celebrate with his team. Ya' know - a team: a group of individuals that do something together, like, I don't know, celebrate a winning soccer season. For fuck's sake - even if you did call us in your world, doncha think you might have wanted to speak to someone to verify that he was or wasn't going to be there for a headcount, or at least, when he wasn't there by like 15 min into the party, you might wanna call to make sure I got your fucking non-existant phone message from Sunday? Jeez, it's not like you were supposed to be calling to reschedule practice or something - it's trophy time.
Sure, you brought his trophy and medal and pictures to school and left them in his cubby for him, but ya know what - he also got pointed out by a classmate/teammate saying "You didn't come to the party last night - you missed the party". Yeah, real cool. Granted you didn't know that was going to happen, but it did and he got the joy of being reminded that he wasn't with his team celebrating last night. Thanks - appreciate it - mean it. Bitch.